If I had a mind to rent pigs, I'd be mighty upset. A man that likes to rent pigs won't be stopped.

True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it

Self-parody is the first portent of age.

Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating a chicken fried steak.

Backward is just not a natural direction for Americans to look - historical ignorance remains a national characteristic.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

Uva uvum vivendo varia fit

People would be bored shitless if they had to love only the good in someone they care about.

A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

Yesterday's gone on down the river and you can't get it back.

Language is the expression of ideas by means of speech-sounds combined into words. Words are combined into sentences, this combination answering to that of ideas into thoughts.

When people don't have much money, they invest in emotions... when some people have lots of money, they invest in emotional fools !

Like a falling star, he descended on the Tarbh Cró, a Cassiline berserker, his sword biting and slashing like a silver snake.

Cartooning really is just designing.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

Playing 13 years is a long time, but I feel really good. It's not like I'm [old]. I'm just thankful.

I've learned that love takes priority.

To myself, mountains are the beginning and the end of all natural scenery; in them, and in the forms of inferior landscape that lead to them, my affections are wholly bound up.

You, the real you, which is creating your body and judging every day - that is the Infinite Universe itself.

I want to be a monster too