If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I know this sounds strange, but as a kid, I was really shy. Painfully shy. The turning point was freshman year, when I was the biggest geek alive. No one, I mean no one, even talked to me.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

Flowers don't worry about how they're going to bloom. They just open up & turn toward the light & that makes them beautiful.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.

There is something perfect to be found in the imperfect: the law keeps balance through the juxtaposition of beauty, which gains perfection through nurtured imperfection.

The difficult people who we encounter can be our greatest teachers.

Try seeing, feeling, and tasting the water you swim in the way a land animal might perceive it. You may find the experience fascinating -- and mind-expanding.

Oaths are but words, and words are but wind.

At boarding school you had to wear your name across your chest and your back, and obviously I had a pretty funny name. It wasn't Brown or Smith or Hughes.

The wrong Democratic reaction to a stupid Republican utterance is to play hurt.

If we develop a good heart we will progress to true compassion, and awaken Bodhicitta. This is the way of the Buddha's method.

I regard myself as an actress but, obviously, not in the Dame Judi Dench league. That isn't a problem because I don't think we are ever likely to be up for the same part!

National consciousness is truly a miraculous thing. When I am not in Turkey I feel even more Turkish than in Istanbul. But when I'm home my European side becomes more apparent.

Here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English.