If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

And besides, it drives the dragon crazy when you sing about his downfall even though you are bleeding

We have to teach our girls that they can reach as high as humanly possible.

I wouldn't really worry to much about practicing the yoga of discrimination at this point in your evolution.

It's great to write for actors when you know who they are. I think I prefer it.

I really enjoyed working on the first one [Batman franchise] and I wish I could have worked with Chris Nolan again and I hope to work with him again.

Mult-Tenancyi is really the future of our industry.

The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.

I said: "He cannot be so bad if he loves roses so much." "But he is a Beast," said Father helplessly. I saw that he was weakening, and wishing only to comfort him I said, "Cannot a Beast be tamed?"

There is no sin greater than ignorance.

I first discovered YouTube while browsing the web, and then I found people just talking into their cameras. I never even knew it was a thing you could do.