If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Prayer is the pillow of religion.

The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something.

The seventies was a time when a lot of people didn't tell their children they were adopted.

Humanity is exalted not because we are so far above other living creatures, but because knowing them well elevates the very concept of life.

Of him that speakes ill, consider the life more then the word. [Of him that speaks ill, consider the life more than the word.]

The object of power is power.

It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat sh** and die.

I'm hoping to learn something new every day. It sounds corny, but I really do come in here every day, listening and talking with the veteran guys and seeing what I can absorb.

What we need is a new consciousness concerning the idea of human liberty.

We credit most our sight; one eye doth please Our trust farre more than ten eare-witnesses.