If I have a rough day, and I'm angry, I'll just go into Kirk Douglas and throw over a table. And when I need to lift my spirits, Kermit can always do the trick.

Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him.

In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington.

I'm not really a political satirist. I don't kid myself. I'm more interested in doing the mannerisms and the personality.

Frank Sinatra taught me how to do him. It took me seven years to master him. He would tell me, tap your foot, Rich, and don't forget to grasp your sleeve.

If you become president, you're guaranteed to develop some nervous habit.

Ross Perot. I could have had a ball with him.

All of us suffer in life, but the ones who bring the suffering find the greatest pain. The wounds we inflict upon others are the most painful for us.

The words we construct, the poems we write and the songs we sing, become the love story of a stranger we have never seen.

We are all winners here.

Europe is a state with several provinces

Having a visual element to your band is a good thing.

I'd rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree.

I cried at first, and then, it was such a beautiful day, that I forgot to be unhappy.

I grew up with a deep belief that wherever our troops fought, they were on the side of the angels.

He was the kind of kid you did not want to sit by. He kept his boogers in his desk, he wore a neck tie.

Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six.