If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The trick is finding a person whose flaws don't drive you crazy...you know...someone whose flaws you can live with...someone who can stand your flaws, too.

The deeper the experience of an absence of meaning - in other words, of absurdity - the more energetically meaning is sought.

Alan Shearer has done very well for us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement into his game because he has got two good legs now. Last season he played with one leg.

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

I don't have to be nice to people who are causing great damage to the nation.

Unfortunately, writing and reporting the truth is not allowed under Castro's tyrannical dictatorship

I have to be able to love somebody except myself and the theater.

Stability can be a good thing, but it can also lead to apathy. I don't want to set that example for my children. I want them to believe in their dreams and to go after them. You do that by example.

And perhaps, posterity will thank me for having shown that the ancients did not know everything.

To dream a garden and then to plant it is an act of independence and even defiance to the greater world.