If I run into someone on the street, that's one thing. But answering mail for a living? I like a job where you can play and act kind of goofy and have some fun.

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

Don’t resent a woman for who she is not

Your passion is your internal compass that will guide you from where you are towards where you want to go.

There's no glory and no respect in making fun of the weak, the powerless.

There's always a source for humor.

I'm not interested in dating. I like being with my own best friend, me. Certain women, particularly older women, cannot believe I like going to a social event by myself. But I do.

Learn and obey the rules very well so you will know how to break them properly.

You're always going to need those folks that introduce certain things to the next generation and I fit in that sense.

If a man sits down to think, he is immediately asked if he has a headache.

If you try to delight the undelightable, you've made yourself miserable for no reason.

There were two ways of looking at the world, but only one when you are starving.