If I spray it on the seat, lady gonna tie a big knot in the meat.

The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.

If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are.

Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion.

Mistakes are part of the game. It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player.

The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.

The only real person you need to know is you.

Just because I cut the heads off dolls doesn't mean I hate babies, I just hate dolls.

He (Marilyn Manson) has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original.

I was one thing at one time, and I'm something new. I'm a new creature now. Don't judge Alice by what he used to be. Praise God for what I am now.

The best things in life don't make sense

Ruth was a novelist, and novelists, Oliver asserted, should have cats and books.

The Wars is a great book, rich in its images, its language, its construction, and, ultimately, its conception.

The little girl on the plane Who turned her doll's head around To look at me.

Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given, that all fidelities are undermined.

often when I thought I joked, I told the truth, afraid to speak it except in jest.

We don't even love each other. I do a bit, you know. You do what a bit? You know. Like you...whatever...love you a bit. I think I kind of love you too.

If hers are the stars in the nighttime sky, mine are the haunted empty spaces in between.

We're the richest economy in the history of the world. For the majority of Americans not to get the benefits of this extraordinarily prosperous economy, there's something fundamentally wrong.

...extraordinarily beautiful, and slightly out of focus.

Perfection is terrible, it cannot have children.