If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.

I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.

Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

A man’s life is not qualified by how much wealth, power, pleasure or control he has, but by the values of godliness he possesses.

Leaders always choose the harder right rather than the easier wrong.

If your best friend's feeling tearful, Try not to be too cheerful. Just let her fill your ear full Of sad tales by the score. And when she is through, She'll feel as good as.

I think the Grammy is like the award, you know.

It's not who you are, who you are friends, and how popular they are, it's just about how much you get out of each friendship and how much you learn from each one that really counts.

I'll experience vulnerability when I just don't have any more to give.

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Art should never be popular.

All this has been my fault.

The Autumn is old; The sere leaves are flying; He hath gather'd up gold, And now he is dying;- Old age, begin sighing!