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Augusten Burroughs Quotes: If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.
         

If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.


Augusten Burroughs
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Other quotes of Augusten Burroughs


You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.

You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.



...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting.

...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting.



You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.

You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.



I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.



I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere.

I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere.



Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's okay, I'm here, I'm here, come with me to the institute.

Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's okay, I'm here, I'm here, come with me to the institute.



You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever.

You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever.



His laugh is made if porch swings and lemonade

His laugh is made if porch swings and lemonade



But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.

But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.



I wouldn't want to waste any of my brain cells on forgiving if it's holding me back.

I wouldn't want to waste any of my brain cells on forgiving if it's holding me back.





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If your attitude is one of gratefully searching for God’s truth & goodness in any situation, it will change your life.

If your attitude is one of gratefully searching for God’s truth & goodness in any situation, it will change your life.




It is not enough to have a good mind the main thing is to use it well.

It is not enough to have a good mind the main thing is to use it well.



Holland is very good at avant garde, probably due to the Dutch character. Good at design. Experimentation sometimes works here very well.

Holland is very good at avant garde, probably due to the Dutch character. Good at design. Experimentation sometimes works here very well.



Great men are the guideposts and landmarks in the state.

Great men are the guideposts and landmarks in the state.



Praying men must be strong in hope, and faith, and prayer.

Praying men must be strong in hope, and faith, and prayer.



I don't write with an outline. I don't often know what I'm going to do as I'm writing. And I do everything by feel and by instinct.

I don't write with an outline. I don't often know what I'm going to do as I'm writing. And I do everything by feel and by instinct.



Self-Reliance is a prerequisite to the complete freedom to act.

Self-Reliance is a prerequisite to the complete freedom to act.



[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.

[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.



He who has realized the Self in the Heart has transcended the dualities and is never perplexed.

He who has realized the Self in the Heart has transcended the dualities and is never perplexed.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.". Author of this quote is Augusten Burroughs. This quote is about class, tree, serial killer, would be, victim, kind,.