If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

Two thongs don't make a right.

What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!

Love itself is what is left over when being "in love" has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Jesus doesn't want what you can do for Him. He wants you.....all of you.....the good and the bad.

Practice positive and affirming self-talk.

When you have a hammer in your hand, everything around you starts looking like a nail.

We moved leisurely towards Mount Foster, on the 22nd, and arrived opposite to it a little before sunset.

Plastic surgery is such a displacement. If people feel good in their skin, then they're beautiful, end of story.

Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.

Anybody can do anything, it's up to themselves. All it takes is the right intentions.

One thing I congratulate everyone on is the great explosion which has occurred in Washington's Black House and the very important scandal which has gripped leaders of America.

Trust is the highest form of human motivation.