If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels.

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

This is not a reaction to your words or actions, rather, it is in direct response to them

Choose thoughts that give you the emotions of being alive and excited about life.

It has occurred to me more than once that holy boredom is good and sufficient reason for the invention of free will.

Every woman is as bitter as gall. But she has two good moments: one in bed, the other at her death.

Sorry, I don't eat any fast food. I believe in eating healthy organic foods for a better lifestyle.

An electron is no more (and no less) hypothetical than a star. Nowadays we count electrons one by one in a Geiger counter, as we count the stars one by one on a photographic plate.

We have a brain for one reason and one reason only - and that's to produce adaptable and complex movements.

The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous.

I have cotton or flannel sheets, depending on the weather. They have to be ironed, and I get my bed changed nearly every day.

In China anything less than 6% growth is a recession meaning that it also causes financial problems and it's disruptive and it's a problem.