If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple theaters Friday, Saturday, maybe Sunday, come home.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

The Analytical Engine has no pretensions whatever to originate anything. It can do whatever we know how to order it to perform.

I hate feelings. Why does sobriety have to come with feelings?

The power of excellence is overwhelming. It is always in demand, and nobody cares about its color.

I see dead people. But, then by God, I do something about it!

I've made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I've mostly been successful.

Until every good man is brave, we must expect to find many good women timid--too timid even to believe in the correctness of their own best promptings, when these would place them in a minority.

So much organized religion, in my opinion, ends up being life-denying.

I try to be feminine, yet intellectual and smart at the same time. You don't see enough of that.

Fine clothes are good only as they supply the want of other means of procuring respect.

It doesn't matter to me what the genre is.