If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

I think of my pile of old paperbacks, their pages gone wobbly, like they'd once belonged to the sea.

Empathy for the people you're working with and being aware of their needs...that's the "big kahuna" in managing people.

A man is not necessarily a master because he happened to compose two or three centuries ago. Let us beware of the worship of mere antiquity.

When 20,000 people applaud you as you walk out to do your job, it should be an inspiration.

You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea.

Every discovery contains an irrational element or a creative intuition.

Freethinkers are generally those who never think at all.

An atmosphere of trust, love, and humor can nourish extraordinary human capacity. One key is authenticity: parents acting as people, not as roles.

Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.

We do teach our kids the golden rule - Do as you would be done by.