If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

Hope springs forever.

Powerful grateful in the demons mortals in the courier of shadows, Darkened protectors of the rest and dusk of sea, Shadow broken and ashes in my eclipse, Crave force the demons flesh

Light is good company, when alone; I took my comfort where I found it, and the warmest yellow bulb in the living-room lamp had become a kind of radiant babysitter all its own.

At the head of any new undertaking where in France you would find the government, or in England some great lord, in the United States you are sure to find an association.

Network Spinal Analysis inspires us to trust the healing power within.

We should often blush at our noblest deeds if the world were to see all their underlying motives.

Your brain has one function-to do exactly what you tell it to do.

Christianity is not a religion for the masses, let alone for all. Cultivated by few and translated into deeds, it is one of the most splendid blossoms that can grow in the soul of a good man.

If it takes 30 days of rehearsal, you better ace all 30 of those days. When it's game time, you're ready to play ball.

It is the rare fortune of these days that one may think what one likes and say what one thinks.