If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Any system which allows men to choose their own future will end by choosing safety and mediocrity, and in such a Reality the stars are out of reach.

There’s plenty of emphasis on success in our culture, but we have to help people focus on significance as well.

[R]evolutions of government cannot be effected by the mere force of argument and reasoning

Our memory is childish and it saves only what we need.

Spain has some of the richest culinary traditions and truly appreciates food that is simply prepared with top-notch ingredients.

I look at a photograph. What's going on? What's happening, photographically? If it's interesting, I try to understand why.

Bankruptcies increase 18 percent to 42 percent above the national average

Everything is happening too fast for me to process it.

Acts of injustice done Between the setting and the rising sun In history lie like bones, each one.