If Satan should ever replace God he would find it necessary to assume the attributes of Divinity.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

One piece of wisdom a writer quickly learns ~ typos keep you humble.

Good writing is rhythm.

if somebody doesn't have any talent, get off the stage! you're wasting my time.

Quacks are the greatest liars in the world except their patients.

Those have most power to hurt us, that we love.

When you're in a major market downturn, the beta eats the alpha.

I come from a very big family. Nine parents.

I don't want to see anyone leaving single tonight. I want everyone to leave impregnated.

Before the real city could be seen it had to be imagined, the way rumours and tall tales were a kind of charting.

Your emotional energy only cares about how successful you are at being yourself.