If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?

Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!

Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!

Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding from something. I told him, "That's true, I'm hiding from the barber!!

Just out of sight around a bend in the river there's always a small island full of magic and mystery just waiting for you.

I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!

I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!

I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.

Turn your diodes this way and pulse...

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!

I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.

How little we really know about the life all around us. Would we be so cavalier and ruthless with it if we understood it better?

I believe that virtually all the problems in the world come from inequality of one kind or another.

The learned compute that seven hundred and seven millions of millions of vibrations have to penetrate the eye before the eye can distinguish the tints of a violet.

I received an OBE from the Queen, which probably doesn't mean anything in America but is quite nice in England - the Order of the British Empire for services to drama.

So my dad raised me, and he's a huge football fan.

Kierkegaard was by far the most profound thinker of the last century. Kierkegaard was a saint.

As much good as it does, social media can also encourage stupidity and degradation.

It was a real eye opener and I'm really pleased that I spent a year out there [in Real Madrid].

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

If anybody says their facelift doesn't hurt, they're lying. It was like I'd spent the night with an axe murderer.