If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

If the entire world sought to make itself worthy of happiness rather than make itself happy, then the entire world would be happy.

I am never lonely when I am reading the Bible. Nothing dissolves loneliness like a session with God's Word.

The highest test of the civilization of any race is in its willingness to extend a helping hand to the less fortunate.

The majority of problems on this planet are the result of the idea that humans are not sovereign and autonomous, but property owned by primitive Gods and incompetent governments.

Education : a debt due from present to future generations.

Orthogonality for orthogonality's sake is not something I'm keen on.

Sin brought death, and death will disappear with the disappearance of sin.

I get tired of negativity in our country. I get tired of people who only want to know dirt. I get tired of people who don't believe in themselves.

My dad always told me that anyone's voice is just another instrument added to the music.

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.