If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

To those who are given much, much is expected.

Life is beautiful if you are on the road to somewhere

Some people give time some money some their skills and connections some literally give their life's blood . . . but everyone has something to give.

The most lasting and pure gladness comes to me from my gardens.

Don't cry to quit. Cry to keep going!

The problem of the modern economy is not a failure of a knowledge of economics; it's a failure of a knowledge of history.

It's definitely true that Stevie Ray Vaughan is one of my all-time favorite guitarists.

The best defense against partisanship is expertise.

Form and formless are intertwined in this world. The formless can only be expressed in form and form can only be thought with the formless.

Filial Piety is the principle of Heaven, The righteousness of Earth, And the (proper) conduct of the people.