If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

When we feel too drained to move forward, God is right there with us, ready to tenderly revive and restore us.

The poets down here don't write nothin' at all, they just stand back and let it all be.

I think film is a world of directors. Theater is a world of actors.

What is that mountain goat doing way up here in the clouds?

My religion of life is always to be cheerful.

It's in their modest home. You go into their kitchen and serve yourself. It's all homemade. It's authentic Italian.

A vast space naturally raises in my thoughts the idea of an Almighty Being.

We're not just going to see mid-sized banks go under in the next few months, we're going to see a whopper.

Get rid of this bunkum about the 'carnal Christian'. Forget it! If you're carnal, you're not saved.

The entire most beautiful order of things that are very good, when their measures have been accomplished, is to pass away.