If a man is indolent, let him be poor. If he is drunken, let him be poor.... Also--somewhat inconsistently--blessed are the poor!

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything.

Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.

Islam is the best religion and Muslims are the worst followers

It is far easier to see brave men die than to hear a coward beg for life.

She makes life over, he realized. She controls life, whereas I just sit on my can and let it happen to me.

The seeds of greatness are ideas you learn from people who've been great in their service to others.

A self-respecting man is a man without a country. A fatherland is birdlime.

Philosophy is really homesickness.

As you get older, things conk out. It's a bit like a car. As long as it's something the mechanics can fix, you can chug on for a few more thousand miles.

Write down the thoughts and even more, write down a specific line. If you don't, it'll fly away forever.

All I do is work, so I eat to live and to keep going.

I've quoted Lost in America several times.

Around year seven or eight, you'd kill yourself when you realized Norm had to enter and you had to come up with a new beer joke.