If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

You can't ever get too much of Paris.

No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.

Try it first And you'll see its a blessing And it's not a curse

The lessons of experience are always learned too late.

Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute.

It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful. But then, it had been a quite personal question.

There is someone who is living my life. And I know nothing about him.

One is greater than two amongst three men where only one of them is intelligent!

Um... Bulgaria is an interesting country. The people are lovely. There are potholes the size of small planets.

Thou best philosopher, who yet dost keep/ Thy heritage, thou eye among the blind.