If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

Don't just dream of success

God wants you to be delivered from what you have done and from what has been done to you - Both are equally imporant to Him.

No harm's done to history by making it something someone would want to read.

When I put something into motion, the creativity starts to make other people want to jump in, and then a lot of people get employed. I'm just like a shark, in that way. If I stop swimming, I'll die.

London's tempo is 122.86 beats per minute.

There are millions of little opportunities out there to advance yourself. But you need the personal power to see how to do it.

A man who fights for coin is loyal only to his purse.

A violent wind does not last for a whole morning.

Power rests in tranquillity.

If you are focusing your anger at government, you are focusing your anger at all of us. Government is just a personification of this country.