If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Too many people out there tell us what we can and cannot do but…they don’t know who we are, what’s put in us.

Even if your pockets are empty, never forget to fill your heart with love.

In a world of selfie-addiction smile usually is the brand name for an essential drug called pretense

He's an undersized pissant with delusions of adequacy.

Every evil screams only one message: 'I am good.'

Just as there comes a warm sunbeam into every cottage window, so comes a lovebeam of God's care and pity for every separate need.

The books of men have their day and grow obsolete. God's word is like Himself, the same yesterday, to-day, and forever.

The peoples of the earth are one family.