If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

The loss of psalmody in the church is one of the early indicators of the loss of faith.

If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

He died in the middle of our conversation. How rude.

I’m not crazy to discuss fashion with men. I couldn’t care less about their opinion.

We worked for 11 years to get where we are today, and I want to take our work seriously so that later on I'll be able to appreciate the money we've made.

We Shan't Save All We Would Like To, But We Shall Save A Great Deal More Than If We Had Never Tried.

I want you to know that I fought you fairly. Equal to equal. I could have used my powers against you, but I didn’t. (Stryker) Should I warm to oven and bake you a batch of hero-cookies? (Zephyra)

Hope and faith are two intimate brothers; they always go together. Hope nourishes faith and faith treasures hope.

The world isn't black and white, Annie, it's shades of grey.

Perfect love means putting up with other peoples shortcomings, feeling no surprise at their weaknesses, finding encouragement even in the slightest evidence of good qualities in them.