If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Understanding and developing your true identity gives you intrinsic value and should impact your focus

... On the whole, the best fortress you can have, is in not being hated by your subjects. If they hate you no fortress will save you...

Night Owls is a fast, fun read that kept me turning the pages. Lauren M. Roy delivers a plot that zips, dialogue that zings, and a cast of characters you'll cheer for to the very end. Thumbs up!

The elections are rigged. It's a totally rigged system. The only way we can lose, in my opinion.

What is there to say, finally, except that pain is bad and pleasure good, life all, death nothing.

Part of my soul I seek thee, and claim thee my other half

Money isn't a major motivating force in my life. Nor is my profession. There are other things that I care more about than being an actor.

I am trying to get closer to God.

A friend of mine took me to Memphis advised me that I should get in the musicians' union. He gave me a set of drums and said, Stay on the job, son.

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It's impossible to be alive and safe.