If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

No name-calling truly bites deep unless, in some dark part of us, we believe it. If we are confident enough then it is just noise.

It is an exaggeration to call the Hamas and Islamic Jihad announcement a military alliance. It is rather a message that our people are united in the face of Israeli aggression.

With cinema, one of the great lies dating back to its origin was "It's just entertainment! It doesn't make any impact" Like the great Samuel Goldwyn said, "If you've got a message, send a telegram."

I think it very wrong to pray for people while they are in distress and then not to continue praying, now with thanksgiving, when they are relieved.

The weatherman is not only blamed for his failure to foretell, he is blamed for the weather itself.

Every man is like the company he wont to keep.

The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history.

Bill Clinton did everything in opposition to Black Lives Matter and the things that animate the existence of the Democrat Party today.

That's the Ankh-Morpork instinct, Vimes thought. Run away, and then stop and see if anything interesting is going to happen to other people.

In the face of terrorism, a united front is one of the strongest weapons.