If anyone has a new idea in this country there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

There are two types of people in this world: those whose look for opportunity and those who make it happen.

It's not about presents but it is about your presence. Therein lies the spirit of the holiday season.

i miss my brother likethe sea would miss saltif that were taken away.

When you win a lot, you don't learn much. With my ups and downs, it's a lot of learning.

New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani fired his wife, Donna Hanover, as official hostess of the mayor's mansion last weekend. He's got his own idea of what a hostess should be. He wants a little cupcake.

There's no magic to running far or climbing Everest. Endurance is mental strength. It's all about heart.

She comes by night, in fearsome flight, in garments black as pitch, the queen of doom upon her broom, the wild and wicked witch.

Anything beats an expensive stack of paper.

Freedom unexercised may be freedom forfeited. The preservation of freedom is in the hands of the people themselves - not of the government.

First, I think the science of monetary economics has clearly gotten better.