If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

You all have a gift. It's free. It's the gift of song.

She was so quiet. So reflective. And she could erase herself, her spirit, with a swiftness that truly startled, when she knew the people around her could not respect it.

If more people were screamin', I could relax.

It is odd how we sometimes deny ourselves the very pleasure we have longed for and which is finally within our reach.

Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.

...smile first, then speak.

Say and do what you mean, but never say and do it meanly.

After the Soft Boys I just didn't want to work with any more guitarists.

It's my first Olympics, I'm very young. It's incredible.

Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.