If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

I love the man, ” Megan said as she took a seat, “but honestly he needs to learn when not to agree with me.

Your career growth depends mainly on how well you can articulate and present your performance review.

Life is like a prison. To survive it is through self-healing and absolute dignity.

Art is the image of life, it's purpose simply to enhance it.

I realize that we've come to a different way of showing movies. But I'm still with the old ways, and I can't change.

The British electors will not vote for a man who does not wear a hat.

I think working with artists is incredibly important for everybody in the world, but also, it is a way of seeing the world differently.

One of the things that would steer me away from a franchise is that I'm playing the same character all the time and I wouldn't want to be known for that.

Dhoni is one guy who doesn't know the meaning of fear.

The positive element of kitsch lies in the fact that it sets free for a moment the glimmering realization that you have wasted your life.