If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

What do gardeners do when they retire?

Someday I would have lovers and write a poem after

What a strange power there is in clothing.

The devil gets up to the belfry by the vicar's skirts.

All that matters on the Chessboard is good moves.

The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.

Fruitful discourse in science or theology requires us to believe that within the contexts of normal discourse there are some true statements.

To me genres were always an imaginary things, they're just marketing channels.

Your distance from your partner is the distance from your heart. The things that make relationships difficult are some of the most precious aspects to us.

The world can’t save itself. That’s the message of Christmas.

But Sasha who after all had no English blood in her but was from Russia where the sunsets are longer, the dawns less sudden, and sentences often left unfinished from doubt as to how best to end them.