If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

…while the outside world was full of danger, I knew my interior. I was certain that I could oust an intruder there.

Modern political science started in the late nineteenth century as a branch of history.

All dope can do for you is kill you... the long hard way. And it can kill the people you love right along with you.

Demonic activity levels? Do they have a device that measures whether the demons inside the house are doing power yoga?

Simplicity of approach is always best.

Beware of direct inspiration. It leads too quickly to repetitions of what inspired you.

The pronoun is one of the most terrifying masks man has invented.

Don't tell me that my parents didn't build their business.

In man's brain the impressions from outside are not merely registered; they produce concepts and ideas. They are the imprint of the external world upon the human brain.

In Germany, you would be hanged if you cracked a joke about Hitler and you would be killed by the state if you were insane in a project of euthanasia.