If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

The prizes go to those who meet emergencies successfully. And the way to meet emergencies is to do each daily task the best we can.

If man limits himself to a satisfied animal existence, and asks from life only what such an existence can give, the higher values of life at once disappear.

if one's natural feelings are suppressed long enough one develops supernatural feelings and feels surer of having a soul.

The SA is, and remains, Germany's destiny.

The curiosity to see the prisoners appears to be unabated

American business, while it does not frown on helping the human race, frowns on people who start right in helping the human race without first proving that they can sell things to it.

At all times it is better to have a method.

Surveys show that surveys never lie.

A woman needs a stronger head than her own for counsel - she should marry.

Whom men fear they hate, and whom they hate, they wish dead.