If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

God is a circle whose center is everywhere, and its circumference nowhere.

Dreams feel real while we’re in them. It’s only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.

If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

Never had a decent report in his life!" Tony repeated, hardly able to believe the words. He was thinking, in shocked surprise, that even Tante Bettina did not know how mad the English could be.

Too many doubts grow in the cracks of silence and separation.

A wise minister would rather preserve peace than gain a victory, because he knows that even the most successful war leaves nations generally more poor, always more profligate, than it found them.

Admiral Farragaut upon entering Mobile Bay Damn the torpedos. FULL SPEED AHEAD!

The most humble research scientist in the Department of Agriculture is at this time contributing more to this country than the most useful member of Congress.

Let the French but have England, and they won't want to conquer it.

The whole wide world scares me! Seriously. I think what happens in our world is so much more frightening than anything I can come up with in my movies.