If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls asleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead.

America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until people got tired of living in a place called "Vespuccia" and changed its name to "America"

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.

When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.

The purpose of literature is to turn blood into ink.

In sitting meditation, we train in mindfulness and unconditional friendliness: in being steadfast with our bodies, our emotions, our thoughts.

It's a good idea always to do something relaxing prior to making an important decision in your life.

I'm very into Taylor Swift. From her music to her wardrobe, she is absolutely killing it. Also, she has adorable cats that I would love to pet.

I looked in the audience. There were no strangers. Everybody was singing and cheering and hugging. That was a beautiful picture to look at.

We did really well for a generation after 1989 and the fall of communism. Our liberal values expanded in the world, our prosperity expanded.

I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really romantic" "No, umm... I actually... never mind"

I've no use for talking, would just as soon store paper clips in my mouth.

I am somebody. I am me. And I don't need anybody to make me somebody.

Cynics know the answers without having penetrated deeply enough to know the questions. When challenged by mysterious truths, they marshall 'facts.