If he had a mind, there was something on it.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

I hardened my heart against all the Bennets. - Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Everything from toy guns that spark To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark It's easy to see without looking too far That not much is really sacred.

I know you feel alone, but just look up at the stars, and everything that is out there is what you really are

If you think about it, a lot of great horror films have bad sequels just because the market demands you to make the other one right away.

I have made sense of my life by developing an ability to analyze Mainstream American Cultural Artifacts.

The English are no nearer than they were a hundred years ago to knowing what Jefferson really meant when he said that God had created all men equal.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.

In 1999, I said that in about a decade we would see technologies such as self-driving cars and mobile phones that could answer your questions, and people criticized these predictions as unrealistic.

God is in his Heaven, all's right with the world.

One of the most annoying habits of liberals is their tendency to confuse their political agenda with moral virtue.