If he's going to be the counterfeit of Christ, the Antichrist has to be Jewish. The only thing we know is he must be male and Jewish.

You do not determine a man's greatness by his talent or wealth, as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage him.

The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability.

If I were president of the United States, I would include Moslems in my presidency.

I sincerely believe that the collective efforts of many secularists during the past generation, resulting in the expulsion from our schools and from the public square, has left us vulnerable.

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.

Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.

We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism...we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself.

I believe that the people of Israel are the chosen people of God.

I believe with all my heart that the Bible is the infallible word of God. I therefore believe that, whatever it says, is so.

Love is commitment; love is a relationship that never gives up.

Fear of change was a weakness

If only tears could speak, they would tell the agony of the eyes.

I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in the supermarket and feel absurd.

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

I'm cool with whatever. I'll just keep eating my bread, sipping my soup and serving my time. But the chicken is going to lay some more eggs one day.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

We have made it impossible for children to fall very far—and in so doing, we have robbed them of the joys of climbing high.

A happy marriage isn't the easiest thing in the world to achieve, but it's much easier to come by than a happy but illicit affair.

I'm scared of screwing up my kids.

Living is merely the chaos of existence.