If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

The older I get, the faster I was.

I don't know anything about Angola, but Angola's in trouble.

I don't care what people think. people are stupid.

We don't need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they're still poor.

They run like deer, jump like deer and think like deer.

There's only 5 real jobs in the world. Teacher, fireman, policeman, doctor and somebody who is in the armed service. If you don't have one of those 5 jobs, you shouldn't take your life that serious.

I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.

No art is harder to master than believing in yourself.

I love writing about the summer between high school and college. It's the last gasp of really being a teen.

You have no idea how many doors closed on me and how many adults were either initially reluctant to take a chance working with me or who outright laughed at me behind my back.

I have never in my career embarked on a journey towards controversy. I have never deliberately set a flame.

I wanted to find a place to hide from all of it, where the nightmares and the rivers and reality couldn't find me. For me, that place was always inside a book.

The long path from material through function to creative work has only one goal: to create order out of the desperate confusion of our time.

There is no solution, for there is no problem.

I start with the joke line and write backward.

Be grateful more than anything in your life. If you have to put a priority on something, put a priority on what your thankful for and the people in your life that you're grateful for.

The reason literacy is important is that literature is the operating instructions. The best manual we have. The most useful guide to the country we're visiting, life.