If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

When you reach out to those in need, do not be surprised if the essential meaning of something occurs.

I will not be threatened. Do you understand me?’ He leaned closer again, his lips less than a couple of inches from hers. ‘Now try saying it without trembling.

Love is illiterate. Whether we write it big or small, we cannot read it. We might only guess. ( "I seek you" )

People have to deal with their issues together; they have to expose themselves and kind of exhaust themselves.

I don't go to movies, I don't own a television, I don't buy magazines and I try not to receive mail, so I'm not really aware of popular culture.

The universal subjugator, the commonplace.

I don't consult polls to tell me what my principles are or what our policies should be.

A man must ride alternately on the horses of his private and his public nature.

One must always be ready to change sides with justice, that fugitive from the winning camp.

Real recognize real, I suppose.