If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Confrontation is what happens when you are less than honest and you get caught.

Oftentimes it's the smallest, seemingly inconsequential acts that make the biggest differences in our lives.

The man molds the idol and then the idol molds the man.

I probably have the crappiest tattoo -- not only in country music -- but maybe the world.

God Gives Birth To gods!

Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf's evil in loco parentis ways.

The mark of a good marriage is when only one of you goes crazy at a time!

Set in this stormy Northern sea, Queen of these restless fields of tide, England! what shall men say of thee, Before whose feet the worlds divide?

Every day there are many opportunities to be nice---or not so nice.

A pas de deux is a dialogue of love. How can there be conversation if one partner is dumb?