If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

I was no longer able to hear the music that issues from a decent piece of prose.

Faith all grown up is trust.

If you don't make up your mind, your unmade mind will unmake you.

The swan, like the soul of the poet, By the dull world is ill understood.

My mom has this great skiing event in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, every year for a local charity.

In the war, most young men were inducted into the armed forces at the age of 17. A group of students was permitted to attend university before taking part in wartime research projects.

The ordinary routines of life are never chronicled by the historian, but they make up almost the whole of experience.

I honestly think that my sincerity lies with my country and each and every individual who knows me will agree with this fact.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?