If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

His life spells living. Your life or my life, apart from Him, spells death.

A fox should not be of the jury at a goose's trial.

A game of rugby is a work of art!

No blare of trumpets announces a modern crisis. In these matter-of-fact times, a telephone call will do.

Anatomize the character of a successful hostess and the knife will lay bare the fact that she owes her position to one of three things: either she is liked, or she is feared, or she is important.

In a seriously intended intellectual emancipation a person's mute passions and cravings also hope to find their advantage.

When Allah tests you it is never to destroy you. When He removes something in your possession it is only in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift.

If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.

I have never cooked a meal in my life and always end up paying for dozens of people to eat with me.

You find in some a sort of graceless modesty, that makes them ashamed to requite an obligation.