If life seems jolly rotten, There’s something you’ve forgotten.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.

We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!

You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

Camelot is a silly place.

I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!

Always look on the bright side of life.

We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.

Love while there is a still a blessed possibility to love.

But you're a monk!

Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.

Live events and lectures in front of large audiences. It is the best. I like it more than eating dinner.

I was very comfortable on the set of Lost. I was so nervous when I went on to the set because I had just watched all the Lost episodes. I was, like, a fan. A big fan.

I've been told I have an Irish temper, I know I have Scottish thrift, and, like the English, I love a good show.

You can arrest me, but you can't arrest my ideas.

Of course it hurts", she grumbled, tipping my head further back. "Life sucks. Get over it

If you look up gerbil videos online, at least half of them are hiney gerbils.

I want a song that raises the hair on the back of my neck when I sing it live and I want to feel it every time.