If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

To the degree that one relates sensitively, appropriately, and even charmingly, to the people and events faced in business and personal life, success will follow.

And he wallowed in disgust and loathing, and his hair stood on end at the delicious horror.

Strive for simplicity. You never have to fix what you leave out.

I speak with dogs frequently. They don't really talk, but I feel they're communicating.

Just go out and drop a few hand grenades all over the place, son. (to Kevin Keegan)

Marya pinned out her childhood like a butterfly. She considered it the way a mathematician considers an equation.

As you tumble to the ground, pick me up on your way down.

Compassion is not a passion; rather a noble disposition of the soul, made ready to receive love, mercy, and other charitable passions.

Success comprises in itself the seeds of its own decline and sport is not spared by this law.

I have great hope for tomorrow. My hope lies in three things-truth, youth, and love.