If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I am in everything that stands for justice and the natural rights of free men everywhere.I am American Amaranth

Almost all heroism is designed to make you inert by placing it in a context that you can't possibly act on.

We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I have coveted everything and taken pleasure in nothing.

The worth of a gift lies as much in the way it is offered as in its intrinsic value.

It's cool to be healthy.

As a child, I was raised with my grandmother, alongside all my cousins, and the kitchen was always full.

I'm what you call a Depression sailor.

Interpreting the dance: young women in white dancing in a ring can only be virgins; old women in black dancing in a ring can only be witches; but middle-aged women in colors, square dancing...?

Honestly, musicals? I just can't. What if this was real life and I was just walking down the street on Rodeo Drive and all of a sudden I just burst into song about how much I love shoes?