If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

He just wasn’t into flaunting his awesomeness, but sometimes a person’s awesomeness simply flaunts itself, even when you politely ask it not to.

A man whose yesterdays rest on his horizon travels forward into his past. The result is that he goes a very long way to nowhere.

So absolute, it is no other than happiness itself, a breathing too quiet to hear.

When we look at the budget, the budget is bad to a large extent because we have people that have no idea as to what to do and how to buy.

Mary Gauthier's great. Yeah, we've played a lot of gigs together. She's really wonderful.

Being a writer requires an intoxication with language.

Writing is 1 percent inspiration, and 99 percent elimination.

It was the tiredness of time lived, with its days and days. It was the tiredness of gravity- gravity, which wants you down in the center of the earth.

Faults and defects every work of man must have.

The fact is most of the things that people know about me are made up. My own life is backstage. So what you "know" about me is only what I allowed you to know about me.