If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?

She is truly beautiful, but she doesn't have a beautiful face to match her beautiful heart. True beauty lies in the HEART.

There is at Christmas time a great deal of hypocrisy, honourable hypocrisy, hypocrisy undertaken pour le bon motif, c'est entendu, but nevertheless hypocrisy!

Thinking Reports enable the prisoners to wash their brains, and become new!" he announced cheerfully. "Washing the brain is very important to your reform, and improving your real situation.

You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom.

Just so you know, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow." Her voice held a smile. "So am I

When you have people together who believe in something very strongly - whether it's religion or politics or unions - things happen.

I've worked really hard, but I know people who have worked even harder but didn't have the chances I've had.

White space is to be regarded as an active element, not a passive background.

The random quantum fluctuations of my brain are historical accidents that happen to have decided that the concepts of dynamic scoping and lexical scoping are orthogonal and should remain that way.

I define success by personal growth; if you don’t continue to grow, you can’t continue to succeed.