If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Faith is a flammable fire.

Death is the force that will create your new life. It is a mechanism of transformation. Welcome it.

Shut out all of your past except that which will help you weather your tomorrows.

I'm not trying to be mean, ' Casamir says.'Intent doesn't always matter.

I get by on wishful thinking that when you come home you'll want to stay.

Comedy born of bewilderment is the only comedy that should be in magic.

True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.

I used to have nightmares about the Antichrist - what would happen, where it would come from, and who it would be.

I seat myself at the typewriter and hope, and lurk.

I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.