If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

And this is the only immortality you and i may share, my Lolita.

I can´t change my past, or predict my future. But i can shape my present.

I still go to bed in mascara on the chance I'll be seen a lover.

Reading without thinking will confuse you.Thinking without reading will place you in danger.

When I'm not working I just like to be comfortable: I love black, nothing tight, no heels, no make-up - it's nice to be able to breathe!

Never give up on what you really want to do

No girl should ever forget that she doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her.

You may exist in this world--but I exist too and I will not yield

Perhaps people who are gushing over the Obama Cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under Sharia law.

The Constitution favors no racial group - no political or social group.